Before the Democratic Reform in 1959, marriage under the feudal serf system demanded strictly matched social and economic status, and marriage between relatives by blood was absolutely forbidden. Today, the practice of marrying someone of the same social status has been abolished. Apart from still abiding by the rule of not marrying one_s blood relative, people have a wider range of choices and more freedom in marriage. Also, they do not care as much about which family the newlyweds live with. Whether a young man and woman come to know each other by themselves or by others_ introduction, the family with which the newlyweds are going to live will propose and choose an auspicious day to hold the wedding. When a family makes a proposal, it has to present each member of the other family with a hada, clothes and cloth, a bag of barley, a bag of wheat (about 50 kilograms), two or three kilograms of butter, a chunk of mutton and three jars of barley wine, together with _milk money_ and _apron money_ for the mother. The last custom is to express gratitude to the mother who has raised the child with milk and hardships, and who has worn out many aprons to take care of the child. Usually, the family that proposes prepares the day_s food. If the food is prepared by the other family, the former must compensate the latter with money, and words of appreciation must be expressed. Because the young man and woman have already fallen in love, the proposal is usually not opposed. On that day, a specific date will be settled for the wedding; therefore, the proposal is actually an engagement party. Usually the young man and woman will not take part in the party. When the family that proposes departs, the other family presents them with hadas and gifts.
　　On the eve of the wedding, the family marrying off the child holds a farewell party. All the relatives and neighbors will come to say good- bye. They bring hadas, buttered zanba cakes (square-or-round- shaped refreshment made of zanba, melted butter, fine cheese flour and brown sugar), legs of sheep, clothes or cloth for every member of the family and betrothal money. And on that night, the family with whom the newlyweds will settle down will dispatch a team of two or three people with sharp tongues, together with a well-decorated horse to be the transportation of the bride or bridegroom. If the journey is long, a horse cart or a car or a tractor is used. At the farewell party, the bride or the bridegroom sits in the middle of the banquet. If it is the bride, a bridesmaid will sit beside her. And on the left and right sides are the parents, relatives, the family members and people from the other family to welcome the bride or bridegroom. After everyone sits down, people from the other family will present hadas to the newlywed and his or her family; then this family_s relatives and friends will present hadas and gifts, too. After the ceremony is over, a party is held, at which everyone sings and dances till dawn.
　　On that day, the family marrying off a child will hand over dowry or betrothal gifts to the people from the other family. There are no set rules for dowry or betrothal gifts; it depends on the financial condition of a family. A rich family gives precious ornaments such as _bazhol,_ _geda_ and _arwu,_ while a family of average means presents quilts, clothes, several suits of Tibetan-style clothes and food. Today, certain practical appliances can be found among the dowry.
　　On the wedding day, at a chosen time, a group of people, led by the welcoming-bride (or bridegroom) team, will walk slowly out of the gate, carrying the dowry with them. At that time, a man will be left at home; he will hold a colored arrow and a milk pail in one hand and a leg of sheep in the other, performing the ceremony of soliciting fortune and happiness. It is said when a family marries a child off, it is likely to lose chances of becoming rich, so the ceremony is performed to ward off such bad luck. All those present shout _yamgo_ to ask fortune and happiness to stay. A man in white Tibetan robe with a design of Eight Diagrams will lead the welcoming team out of the door. When the group walks to the edge of the village, it is a custom that the youths of the village will not allow the welcoming team to pass, and the latter will try their utmost to say all kinds of pleasant words and present them with barley wine and gifts to persuade the village youths to let them pass. Mid-way, a short ceremony will be held where colorful arrows are put on the backs of the newlywed, whether he or she is willing or not. This shows that he or she has found its better half. If the group meets someone carrying water or other things, it is believed to be lucky, and those who see off the newlywed must present a hada or money as a gift. If the group meets someone emptying a garbage can or carrying an empty crate, or if it snows on the wedding day, it is believed to be inauspicious.
　　Before the welcoming team arrives home, the family has to decorate its door and set up two stones, one black and the other white, on both sides. A cushion is also prepared for the bride or bridegroom to dismount from the horse. The cushion, covered with colorful satin (or tiger and leopard hide), contains barley, wheat and salt. On it the sign of _ _ is written with wheat flour.
　　When the people accompanying the bride or bridegroom arrive at her or his new home, they will present a hada to the white stone on the right side of the door while chanting: _Sacrifices to you! Thirty-nine cities, ninety-nine slopes. Please bless us_ and other special sentiments. Then they will go to the black stone, reciting, _I am the incarnation of the sons of Buddha from ten places and of the three masters, and shall kill the black monster._ So saying, they turn over the stone.
　　Afterwards, they will sing traditional odes to praise the cushion, the door, the watch dog and the stairs of the family. The bride and bridegroom will take the center seats at a table, and around them will be their parents, people who have gone to fetch or who have accompanied the bride or bridegroom there. Then the newlyweds will stand to sing praises of and offer hadas to the niche (or statue of Buddha), pillar, wine jar and auspicious vessel.
　　Thus, the wedding formally begins. Besides the above-mentioned, relatives, friends and neighbors are also invited, and they usually present wedding gifts according to their financial situation, such as barley wine (usually not less than three jars), butter (two to five big chunks), tea (two to three packs), mutton (a whole sheep stuffed with one to two kilograms of wool), a bag of barley, a bag of wheat (40 to 50 kilograms), money, clothes or cloth for the family members, and hadas to the niche, bride, bridegroom, family members, people who have welcomed and accompanied the newlywed here, pillar of the house and wine jar. The wedding ceremony sometimes lasts one day and sometimes several days to 10 days. During the time, the host prepares sumptuous food, tea and wine for the guests, who will enjoy themselves to their hearts_ content.
The last event of a person_s life cycle is the funeral. This is a sad ritual. The Tibetan people believe in Tibetan Buddhism and in the theory of past, present and future life. Therefore, a funeral is imbued with Buddhist concepts. It is a ceremony to expiate the sins of the dead and, moreover, a guarantee for the future life of the dead. It is a key event for everyone.
　　There are a variety of ways for burial. Like other parts of Tibet, people in Xigaze generally adopt the celestial burial. The dead person, shrouded in white cloth, is first placed in a corner of a room on sun-dried mud brick instead of a bed made of other materials. Tibetan Buddhism expounds that the soul of the dead sometimes refuses to leave the house, although the body is removed. So if its body is placed on mud brick, the soul will leave, since the brick will be taken out of the house to a road intersection. A man is often consulted to divine the specific date for the funeral. Usually, the body of the dead will be kept in the room for three to five days before burial. Once relatives, friends and neighbors of the dead receive the sad news, each family will send one person with a jar of wine to express condolences. During the days before burial, the family of the deceased sends for lamas to chant sutras or perform Buddhist rituals to expiate the sins of the dead. If the family is rich, they will light 100 lamps for the dead.
A red pottery vat, whose mouth is covered with wool or a white hada, usually hangs at the gate of the deceased_s house. Inside are blood, meat, fat, milk, cheese and butter. With each passing day, more of these items are added, which are meant for the enjoyment of the dead. If a family loses a member, the other members will not comb their hair, clean their faces, wear ornaments, or sing and dance for 49 days. During the funeral arrangements, the family members and their neighbors are not allowed to hold a wedding, sing or dance. Everyone mourns the loss of the dead.
　　On the day before the burial, people offer their condolences and say farewell to the dead, bringing with them _garmai zumda,_ which includes a hada, Tibetan joss sticks, a sacrificial lamp and money. Besides the above-mentioned articles, relatives, friends and neighbors also bring zanba, milk dregs, tea and ox lard to boil _toba_ (a type of congee). The burial takes place early in the morning. Led by a lama, the descendants of the deceased carry the dead to the door, and relatives, friends and neighbors, holding Tibetan joss sticks, see the dead off to a fork in the road a distance from the house. Finally, one or two friends accompany the dead to the graveyard and supervise the whole process of the celestial burial presided over by a celestial burial master. Family members usually are not present at the scene.
　　After a family member dies, lamas are sent for to chant sutras for the dead every seven days _ seven times. A rich family will hold a sacrificial ceremony for the dead on the 30th day, when one lama is sent for to chant sutras. On the first anniversary, commemorative sacrificial activities are performed in the family home, and relatives, friends and neighbors gather there, bringing hadas, tea, wine, meat, butter and money. The host prepares food to thank the guests for their help during the past year.